About Grief and Being Human
By Robert Guffey
This week, our families have gathered in Mississippi due to a significant change in the health of Angie and Patti's mother, Sue, who is nearing the close of a long and faithful life as a child of God, sister, wife, mother, teacher, grandmother and gracious friend. We are in place to be present to her and to help in partnership with an excellent, compassionate hospice team. Your thoughts and prayers for Sue will be appreciated.
In my life and ministry, I have learned a lot about grief. What I have learned that is most important about grief can be summed up in a few sentences:
Grief has no rules… and that is okay.
Grief will be a most unexpected companion.
Grief is real and a sign of love.
Everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time.
Grief can become a cause for gratitude.
Grief can become a way we honor those we have lost.
Grief tells us we are human; but being human is who God created us to be— and only a little lower than the angels.
When others are grieving, what we do is usually more important than what we say—
and the most important thing to do is simply show up with love and care. (The sayings, “God did not need another angel” or “…she or he may be in a better place,” while well-meant, are not helpful to those who grieve the loss who are not in a better place. An “I love you” or “I’m sorry” and, where appropriate, a hug says it all.)
It is okay to grieve a loss even as we celebrate the life of the person we have lost. We can say “THANKS BE TO GOD” for those we have loved and for the perfect healing they now experience in the presence of God as children of God. We can say, also, “O Lord, be with us, too, as we memorialize their lives in our own, and as we go forward with our lives, learning to trust and love You as Your very own children.”
Thanks be to God.
Robert Guffey is senior pastor, Freemason Street Baptist Church, Norfolk, Virginia
