Giving The Bride Away
By Hal Haralson, Attorney, Austin, Texas
Judy returned from a week-long Faith at Work conference in Jackson, Mississippi. Her head was in the clouds. She was on the phone to people in her "family" and talked about them constantly.
She encouraged me to go to the next one, and I found myself liking the idea.
Stoney Point, New York, is a long way from Texas. I didn`t know there was any other town or city in the State of New York except New York City.
We landed there and I took a Greyhound bus for about two hours to the village of Stoney Point.
The retreat center was operated by the Catholic Church and was right on the edge of town.
The first night the leader divided us into families. I was with seven other people. We only knew each other`s first names. That`s all.
The games we were assigned rewarded us for working together and soon we began relying on each other and competing with other "families."
The second night we sat up until 2:00 a.m. talking about ourselves and sharing information with each other. It was the beginning of a "bonding" process that made our family really close.
I soon found out there was another Texan in my group. Her name was Marianne Brown from Katy, Texas.
Marianne was shy and didn`t talk much. I found out she was a music teacher in an elementary public school.
I also learned that she had a PhD in music from the University of Texas.
"Why," I asked, "aren`t you teaching on the college level?"
"I tried that. I really didn`t enjoy what I was doing. I want to teach little kids."
"I had a hard time getting in at the elementary level. They thought I was too educated. Eventually, they realized I was sincere and let me in."
I told Marianne about my years in the ministry, my mental illness, the suicide attempt, and the state hospital.
She was particularly interested in our marriage and Judy`s willingness to stay with me during these times.
We were friends by the time the week was over and pleased to discover that we had the same flight from New York City to Houston.
Marianne told me her first husband had been killed in a U-2 plane over Cuba.
After the passage of time, she remarried. She and her husband were on a retreat at Laity Lodge, the H.E. Butt retreat center near Leaky, Texas. He had a heart attack and died in her arms on the couch at Laity Lodge.
Marianne had leaned heavily on her friends in the church and the strength she found in prayer and reading God`s word.
There was joy in her music. Particularly in her participation in the choir in her church in Katy.
"Therein lies the problem. There is a man in the choir who has shown more than a casual interest in me. The attraction is mutual. I`m afraid he`s going to ask me to marry him."
"What should I do? I can`t stand the thought of three deceased husbands. He doesn`t know what he`s letting himself in for."
It was time to catch my plane to Austin. "Let`s keep in touch."
Marianne Brown was probably history. There was little I could do but pray for her.
Little did I know.
Two weeks later I got a call from Marianne. "Hal, I`ve got to talk to you. Can I come to Austin?"
"Of course. When?"
"Tomorrow." There was a sense of urgency in her voice.
She caught a cab to my office on South Lamar and was waiting in the outer office when I finished with my last client.
She told me later she was afraid. She had never been in a lawyer`s office before.
We had lunch and spent two hours in a park. Marianne talking, Hal listening.
Her friend had proposed. He wanted to marry her. The same questions. No answers.
"Two husbands dead . . . what about a third? I`m scared, but I think I love him. I think I want to do it."
We parted with me assuring Marianne of my prayers and support. I felt honored that she would come all the way to Austin to talk to me.
There was silence for about a month. Then the call came. She was so excited she could hardly talk.
"He proposed. I accepted. We`re going to get married. I have a request."
I was prepared to say "No, I don`t perform marriage ceremonies anymore." But that was not the question.
"Hal, will you give me away at the wedding?"
"Of course," I said and put the date on my calendar.
It was a joyous event. I was honored to give my friend to her husband in marriage.
Twenty-four years later, I saw Marianne at a writer`s conference at Laity Lodge.
The third husband was safe and sound. God had blessed this union.
We had a joyful reunion.
There are times when it is better to respond by listening than by giving answers. It worked well this time.
