Gleanings from the Internet
Things You Can Learn from a Dog
Administratium
Be a Little Kinder (not in printed issue)
Things You Can Learn from a Dog
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
When it`s in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they`ve invaded your territory.
Take naps and stretch before rising.
Run, romp and play daily.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
Never pretend to be something you`re not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you`re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you`re scolded, don`t buy into the guilt thing and pout; run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Administratium
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by university physicists. The element, tentatively named "Administratium", has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic weight of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 70 vice neutrons, and 161 assistant viceneutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 232. These 232 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically, as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to researchers, a minute amount of Administratium, added to one reaction, caused it to take four days to complete. Without the Administratium, the reaction ordinarily occurred in less than one second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization it which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Studies seem to show the atomic number actually increasing after each reorganization.
Research indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate in certain locations such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities. It can usually be found in the newest, best-appointed, and best-maintained buildings.
Scientists warn that Administratium is known to be toxic, and recommend plenty of fluids and bed rest after even low levels of exposure.
Be a Little Kinder (not in printed issue)
[Martin Marty`s Context, a constant source of blessing, is published 22 times a year by Claretian Publications, 205 West Monroe St., Chicago, Illinois 60606. The subscription price is $29.95 per year. Call 1/800-328-6515. His Volume 29, Number 19 issue noted, from the Chronicle of Higher Education, 6/20/97, that Huston Smith, famed and senior professor of religion at Syracuse said: ]
"While I was teaching at M.I.T., Aldous Huxley joined us for a semester as distinguished visiting professor in the humanities. Needless to say, he was in demand all over New England, and my regard for him was so great that I volunteered to be his social secretary, driving him to and from his engagements because I wanted nothing so much that semester as to spend as much time in his presence as I could manage. On the way to one of his engagements, he said, `You know, Huston, it`s rather embarrassing to have spent one`s entire lifetime pondering the human condition and to come toward its close and find that I really don`t have anything more profound to pass on by way of advice than, `Try to be a little kinder.`"
