How My Mind Has Changed About the Pastorate
By Philip Wise, former pastor of Second BC, Lubbock, TX and FBC, Dothan, AL.
Note: This article is Chapter 10 in For Faith and Friendship (Insight Press, 2010), a book dedicated to the memory of the life and influence of Philip Wise, pastor and teacher, who was also serving as Chair of the Board of Directors of CET at the time of his sudden serious illness and death in 2009.
When the Trinity Group began to discuss the theme of this book, I suggested that we write about how our minds had changed over the years. Since the Trinity Group was founded to discuss theology, I was thinking about changes that have occurred in our theological convictions. There have been some changes in the way I think about God, but to be honest these changes are less significant than the changes in my thinking about how to be a pastor.
Since I’ve spent the major part of my life—thirty years this year—as the pastor of a local church, I want to detail the leadership principles in which I have come to believe. It is not my intent to denigrate the preparation I received in the seminary. The seminary prepared me for many of the responsibilities which every pastor must assume—preaching, teaching, counseling, and so on. However, the seminary did not provide the guiding principles I have adopted over the years as I’ve struggled to do my work more effectively.
These are principles which I learned in the school of hard knocks. Some of them I apply every day. Some of them are principles in which I believe, but find difficult to follow consistently.
I have divided these principles into categories: faith, making decisions, working well with others, personal behavior, organization, and challenges.
Faith
When I began my ministerial training, I took faith for granted. Since I was training to be a minister, I was by definition a person of faith. I took my own faith for granted. Perhaps I was an exception at seminary, but I don’t think so. I think many ministers operate out of the assumption that since their work is religious, they don’t need to be. The manifestations of this neglect are a failure to pray, to read the Bible devotionally, to reflect on what it is you do believe, and to develop spiritual disciplines.
What I have discovered is that a pastor’s faith is critical to survival. If the pastor has not accepted the disciplines of Jesus Christ, then she can never instruct others in these disciplines without hypocrisy. Dostoyevsky wrote, “There is in the world only one figure of absolute beauty: Christ.”
A pastor who is not committed to being a disciple of Jesus may be successful, but he can never be authentic. When I became a pastor, I thought I understood who Jesus was and what he taught. What I have discovered is that my understanding was parochial and narrow. I have learned a great deal about Jesus and “the Jesus way” of life by continuing to read and reflect on the Gospels. I no longer believe that I have grasped Jesus, but I am certain that he has grasped me. I have come to believe that a pastor can be a more effective evangelist by admitting that there are aspects of Jesus’ life and teaching that remain mysterious and even contradictory to the faith we practice. Such honesty does no disservice to Jesus.
In fact, it acknowledges that he is who we say he is—the eternal creator of the universe whom we can never completely fathom.
Making Decisions
One of the drains on pastors is the number of decisions that must be made every day. These decisions are almost infinite in their variety and complexity. These include decisions about purchases, personnel, time allotment, moral issues, counseling techniques, theological questions, denominational involvement, benevolent requests, strategic planning, and so much more.
There are many pressures that a pastor feels as she tries to make these daily decisions. Laypeople want decisions that coincide with their views and values. The denomination exerts a pull, one’s peers express their opinions, the voices of “teachers past” speak in our ears, and the need for the church to prosper and grow is experienced as a need and a threat. Each of these forces—and many others—exerts a steady pressure on the pastor and he must decide which of these pressures will predominate.
I ’ve come to believe that the surest pastoral guide in decision making is one’s faith. This is not just a pious affirmation; it is a practical methodology. When I am perplexed about what decision I should make, I ask myself this question: “If I believe what I say about God, what ought I to do in this situation?” This question provides clarity when I am confused by the competing pressures that are trying to influence my decision.
This way of acting has something to do with integrity. If this is who I say I am, then how ought I to act? Integrity is a virtue that is often sadly lacking in today’s church leaders—both clergy and laity. I have repeated a phrase so often to my children and to others that it has become a mantra for me—No one can take your integrity from you; you have to give it away.
There are some other principles of decision making that have served me well as a pastor. I have adopted these principles over the years, and I have trouble pinpointing the exact time when I came to accept them. Being willing to change your mind is one of those principles. I’ve never been unwilling to change my mind about theology if I found a better way of thinking about God, but I have been reluctant to change my mind about church procedures or plans. Being willing to change your mind is a sign of strength, not weakness.
The same is true of being willing to say, “I was wrong” and “I’m sorry.” Taking time to plan has become a priority for me. In my early years as a pastor, I found myself constantly reacting to events and people. In my mature years, I have found that planning ahead can avoid a lot of conflict and wasted time. Now when I feel overwhelmed with decisions, I try to shed some of my responsibilities in order to focus on planning. I get off of committees, complete assignments and don’t accept others, and limit my civic involvement. This allows me to be more organized and make better decisions.
One of those critical decisions is choosing the right leaders—both lay and clergy. A pastor can’t do all the work of the church, but she can choose the right leaders for the right tasks. Jim Collins, in his book Good to Great, discusses the importance of “Getting the right people on the bus and the wrong people off the bus.” A pastor needs to know how to do this effectively.
Working Well with Others
If you had asked in seminary what I thought the hardest task for most pastors was, I would have probably said, “teaching and preaching.” In fact, the hardest task for a pastor is relating to those with whom you work. If James Carville had taught seminary classes he would have emphasized, “It’s the people, stupid.”
In this regard the pastorate is no different from most other jobs where there is personal interaction. People in the business world and in other professions often tell me the same thing about their work.
In the case of pastors, there is the added phenomenon that every member of the local church has an opinion about how the pastor ought to do her job. Many members are supportive and understanding when the pastor doesn’t meet their expectations. Others are unreasonable in their expectations and complain bitterly to anyone who will listen—including the pastor—when their expectations go unmet.
It’s an impossible task to keep every member happy about the church and the job performance of the pastor. Living with disgruntled members is not easy for most pastors. They have entered the ministry to help people and when they’re told that they have not only failed to help, but have made things worse for some people, pastors become discouraged.
Every pastor that I’ve gotten to know well has admitted to such discouragement. I certainly have experienced it.
What is a pastor to do? Many pastors do what I have often done—work more hours. They reason, “If I just work a little harder the criticism will go away.” It won’t. It may lessen, but there will always be criticism.
A lot of the criticism is unfounded and unfair. Some of it is well-founded. The problem is that a pastor can never do all the work that is needed in a parish. There is always someone else who needs a visit, a note, or a phone call. There is always more work that can be done on the sermon. There is always some ministry in the church that
would be strengthened if the pastor were there to help.
I have come to believe that making priorities is the most important task for a pastor. There’s always more to do, but what is the critical thing I should do now?
One rule that I try to follow is: put people first. If you have to decide between a person and a program, put the person first. In the long run, people will forgive you for not executing a program or preaching a great sermon, but they won’t forgive you for ignoring their need. If Jesus is our model, that priority seems to be consistent with his practice. Even with that priority firmly fixed, a pastor cannot always ignore his responsibility as a planner and implementer in order to provide pastoral care. There is no way to make the right call every time. You do the best you can and when you have failed to meet a human need, go to the person and say, “I’m sorry.”
I asked a group of pastors I met with recently, what’s the hardest part of your job? The consensus was that the hardest part is working with other church staff members. There are many potential problems in this arena. You don’t measure up to the expectations of other staff members. You don’t do things the way your predecessor did them. They report to you, and you have to critique their work. They’ve been in the ministry longer than you. They have their own constituency and use that as a threat against your interference in their ministry.
And sometimes, they just don’t like you.
Some of my beliefs about working with other staff members haven’t changed. One of those is that every staff member should be treated as a colleague. The maintenance staff and the church secretaries are sometimes treated as inferiors by ministers. I believe that this is wrong and wrong-headed. These folks can make you look good or bad. Members of the church will ask them their opinion of you. They can make your work easier or harder. I’m convinced that they will speak well of you and help you in your ministry if you treat them with respect and dignity. If I help them do their work, they will help me do mine. Picking up trash in the parking lot is a way to share the workload of the maintenance staff.
When you do your own menial tasks, secretaries notice. Including all the staff in staff meetings and prayer times makes a difference. Asking these support-staff folks for their opinions can often result in some good ideas. Finding out about their families and inquiring about their well-being can be a ministry to them and enriching to your relationship. Laughing and eating together is a balm that heals many wounds—oil that lubricates the relationship.
If I want to know what kind of minister a pastor is, I often ask someone on his/her maintenance or secretarial staff. In my judgment, the way you treat those folks says a lot about what kind of Christian you are.
Most pastors have difficulties relating to some of their ministerial colleagues. Among a group of ministers there are bound to be differences of style, work speed, philosophy, theology, background, and personality. Any one of these can create problems for the pastor as he tries to relate to each minister. Since you naturally gravitate towards some colleagues and not towards others, you can be accused of favoritism. If the pastor has a larger salary and more perks than his colleagues in most churches, jealousy can become a problem.
Professional malfeasance or moral failure can become an issue. I certainly haven’t developed ideas about how to deal with all these issues. Many of them are idiosyncratic and must be dealt with as one-time events you may never encounter again. However, I have developed some principles that I try to follow in relating to my ministerial colleagues.
First, treat them as colleagues. Listen to their ideas and suggestions. Give them plenty of freedom to discover and use their gifts. Take the blame when things go wrong, and share the credit with them when things go right. Always defend them; save your criticisms for private conversations with them. Obviously, you may have to discuss their shortcomings with the appropriate laypersons, but this should be done discreetly and with kindness. Be honest with your colleagues, but be gentle. We all have delicate egos and a kind word goes a long way. Talking with your colleagues about their aspirations can help you relate to and supervise them. No one has all the good ideas, so listen to your colleagues’ ideas. Your ministerial colleagues may or may not be your best friends, but they should believe that you care about them as persons and that you will always treat them fairly.
Many of the problems pastors experience with their ministerial colleagues are a result of poor hiring decisions. My philosophy has remained fixed about working with colleagues who preceded me at a church. First, they should be respected and given an opportunity to succeed. My job is to help them succeed. The ministers who remain at a church where I am called to serve as pastor may be excellent ministers who have been given the wrong assignments. Finding the right assignment for each minister on the staff is the pastor’s job. Only if I have tried and failed to find an appropriate assignment for a minister should I ask the question: “Does this person need to go?”
In hiring new ministers for the church staff, I have come to believe in two basic principles. First, hire good people who aren’t afraid to work hard and take risks. Second, when choosing between two equally qualified persons who meet the first criteria, go with the brains. This was advice I received years ago from the best administrator I’ve known, Dr. Thomas Corts, the former president of Samford University.
Though I believe in these two principles, I also have discovered that calling a ministerial colleague to work with you is like choosing a wife. You won’t know immediately how well you and the church have chosen, but time will tell.
Personal Behavior
Every week, or so it seems, some prominent minister is fired for inappropriate behavior. I have come to believe that some of these ministers acted inappropriately so that they could leave the ministry. Some ministers are mentally or morally unstable. Many ministers who have had a moral failing have done so because they have not set some appropriate boundaries for themselves.
When I entered the pastorate, I was like most ministers—I thought I was immune from moral failings. What I discovered was that I had the same temptations that lay Christians have—to steal, to lie, to be sexually unfaithful.
One of the truths I have come to accept is that I am capable of giving in to temptation, so I need to do what the New Testament advises: flee temptation. That means that I do not allow myself to be in a situation where I can be tempted to do wrong such as counting church money without someone else there, being alone at the church with a member of the opposite sex, turning in expenses without receipts, and the like.
I have found that it helps me to focus on my family—my wife and children—when I am tempted to do wrong. I don’t want them to be embarrassed by me or ashamed of my behavior. A pastor can live with being criticized by his parishioners or colleagues; he cannot be content if he has disappointed those he loves the most by inappropriate behavior.
Challenges
Peter Drucker is often quoted as saying, “The four hardest jobs in America are the president of the United States, a university president, a CEO of a hospital, and a pastor.” If he is right, pastors should expect to encounter many challenges in their work. As a young pastor, I never thought about these challenges. I got up every day and tried to do what I had to do to survive.
As I reflect on my experience in the four churches that I have served as pastor, I am convinced that there were a few “deciding moments” in each of those pastorates that determined my effectiveness in that church. In each of those situations, I was aware of the importance of the decision that needed to be made, but I wasn’t always aware that the decision reached would be pivotal for my pastorate there.
I’m not sure that you can identify those challenges in advance or at the time. In my experience it was always reflection at a later time that demonstrated their importance.
Some of these deciding moments concerned ethical decisions—should I speak the truth as I understood it or should I avoid conflict? Other deciding moments were business decisions—should we borrow the money or wait till we have the money in hand? Some of the deciding moments were personnel decisions—should he be given another chance or should he be asked to leave?
There are no easy answers to such questions. What I have come to believe is that I could have made better decisions if I had followed some simple principles.
First, contrary to my early and continuing inclination, it’s not a good idea to make a snap decision. I have learned the wisdom of consulting with other pastors, with friends I trust, and with members of the congregation. Getting more information and consulting with a variety of people have always produced a better result.
Second, no matter how important the issue may be, it must never become more important than the people involved. As a young pastor, I was more interested in making the right decision than I was in how the decision was made. Now, I believe that the way you make the decision may be more important than the decision that’s reached. If church members feel that their opinions are valued and their voices heard, they will support almost any decision that’s made. Without their support, it’s difficult to make any church decision a successful one.
Third, conflict can lead to progress. The important word in the last sentence is can. There are no guarantees that conflict will lead to progress, and in my experience it often leads to more conflict. I do not believe that pastors should avoid conflict; in fact, I have been and continue to be critical of pastors who avoid conflict at all costs. My experience is that you don’t have to go looking for conflict; it will find you.
Finally, when conflict does come, it’s important to remember that not every battle is Armageddon. Being on the losing side of a minor conflict can actually help the pastor if she demonstrates a Christian attitude in defeat. If you’re going to risk your career and ministry over a particular conflict, be sure it justifies that kind of sacrifice. If you’re going to die on a cross, make sure it’s a big one.
As you work to resolve the conflicts in your church, never forget that if you die this week, they’ll still have church on Sunday.
