Jacob at Jabbock: Sunrise
By Jimmy R. Allen
[Dr. Jimmy Allen is Chaplain at the Big Canoe resort community in the Georgia mountains north of Atlanta.]
I wrestle in the blackness of night with the Specter
Knowing not whether He would do me good or evil
It is enough that life is closing in with suffocating pressure
Options of youth have evaporated…
faded with the passage of time
Decisions long made bear bitter fruits of confusion
One would think by now I would know who and
what I am
But the Force rising and seizing me, thrashing in the darkness,
Says I do not yet know the Destiny
Awaiting me
Holding on with fierce determination, knowing
that if I let go all is lost
Implacable Divinity probes my soul with the
deepest and most painful question of all….
How can I name myself? What is my life about?
What is throbbing within my soul?
Can I trade trickery for trust, stop using
and risk loving?
The sun rises as I stagger lame and
limp from battle,
Can my new name really mean that God and I have
grappled and in the Mystery
Have I heard the VOICE of LIFE?
