Ode to an Alzheimer Parent
By Kenneth Chafin
Written in his wife Barbara`s voice in memory of her mother, Thelma Burke, this poem was penned by Dr. Chafin to help her process the most painful experience of her whole life. It is shared here with readers of Christian Ethics Today because all of us are hurting or fixing to hurt. Or, as Thomas Carlyle somewhat more elegantly put it (unless my memory has once against miserably failed me), the same leaky bottom in these wild waters bears us all.
Dr. Chafin has been pastor of the Walnut Street Baptist Church in Louisville and of the South Main Baptist Church in Houston and has held distinguished teaching posts at Southwestern and Southern Baptist Theological Seminaries. His decades-long interest in writing has recently been focused on poetry. He divides his residence between Louisville, Kentucky and a farm near Brenham, Texas.
When you forget your own address
and find yourself on strange streets,
we`ll sell your car and I`ll drive you
to all the places you need to go,
like you did for me
when I was a little girl.
When you forget how to dress
and end up with three sweaters,
two sets of panty hose, and a
slip on over your dress,
I`ll help you to look proper
when you go out,
like you did for me
when I was a little girl.
When the words on the menu
don`t match the pictures in your mind
and you keep ordering things you won`t eat,
then I`ll get the things
that I know you`ll enjoy,
like you did for me
when I was a little girl.
When finding your way at church is frightening
I`ll take you to your class and pick you up
and let you sit with me in big church.
If the sermon seems long and you get sleepy
I`ll let you put your head on my shoulder,
like you did for me
when I was a little girl.
When the hot and cold taps confuse you
and you quit being interested in bathing,
I`ll put you in a tub of warm water
and give you a bath,
like you did for me
when I was a little girl.
When your fingers forget those skills
for designing lovely dresses
and you tear the clothes
you`re trying to mend,
I`ll take them all home
and fix them for you,
like you did for me
when I was a little girl.
When you forget who people are
and can`t tell your family
from total strangers,
I`ll be your memory
and tell you their names,
like you did for me
when I was a little girl.
When they`re having a party
for all the residents
and you want to go
but don`t know what to wear,
I`ll make you a lovely costume
which everyone will envy,
like you did for me
when I was a little girl.
But when you forget who I am,
not just my name or my birthday,
but that you ever had children,
then there isn`t much I can do
but go somewhere and cry,
like I sometimes did
when I was a little girl.
