Familia: Family in Hispanic Culture
Familia: Family in Hispanic Culture
By Dr. Albert Reyes, President
Baptist University of the Americas, San Antonio
Note: This article is adapted from an address delivered on February 10, 2003, at the First Baptist Church in Austin, Texas, at the annual conference of the Christian Life Commission of Texas.
Let me start by sharing some about my family. I am a third generation, native Texan, born of Mexican descent. My wife is a fourth generation native Texan, also born of Mexican descent. We are Tejanos, Americanos, and Mexicanos. We speak both English and Spanish and have relatives that currently live in Mexico. We live in two worlds at the same time. We have three boys who were born in El Paso just about two miles from the US-Mexico border. We continue to redefine our mestizaje, our journey of cultural identity. Hispanics have three distinct strands that converge to provide their cultural heritage: The Spanish (European), the Amerindian, and the African. When these cultures came together they formed a mestizaje, which means "mixed" or "hybrid." In 1519, when Hernan Cortez landed in Vera Cruz, Mexico and marched into Tenochtitlan on lake Texcoco and met Montezuma and the Aztecs, the combination of these two races gave birth to a hybrid culture, the Mexican race, which continues with a 500 year history. This was a biological mestizaje. So I am part Spaniard and part Aztec as a Mexican. But I am also American. Beyond the biological mestizaje, I am a product of a socio-political mestizaje as a Tejano and American citizen.
The gospel came into my family in the early 1930s when my grandfather, Jose Maria Reyes and his wife Francisca Reyes (and their children) were working near Snyder, Texas as migrant workers. At the time the family was picking cotton on a ranch near in the Panhandle. My grandparents and their nine children worked in the fields all day and then returned to a small pick-up truck for the night. I fondly say that I had a "cotton-pickin" grandpa. He lived to the ripe old age of 92 and his wife passed away while my dad was a small boy. One day while the family was working in Snyder, an itinerant Texas Baptist evangelist by the name of Edward P. Gonzalez came to the ranch and gathered the workers to preach to them. My grandmother heard the simple gospel message for the first time and prayed to receive the forgiveness of sins and began her relationship with Jesus Christ. She was baptized that day in the water trough used for watering the horses and cattle. Then one by one, each member of her family, including my grandfather, became believers. The oldest of the children, my uncle Joe, married the preacher`s daughter who was named Eva. My aunt Eva still lives and has recounted this story to me many times. By the time I was born in 1958 my parents, including my mother who was a former Roman Catholic, were members of the First Mexican Baptist Church of Corpus Christi, my father`s home church. By the time I made my profession of faith we were members of Memorial Baptist Church in Rialto, California. My two brothers also became believers, our wives are all Baptist Christians, and just a few months ago, our youngest, Thomas, became the last of our family to profess faith in Christ. The gospel has reached and transformed our family now, even to the fourth generation.
My understanding of discipleship in the context of the family is defined by my understanding of familia, or family. So, I would like to consider the meaning of familia in Hispanic culture and then reflect on how that meaning informs our vision to form biblically authentic families and followers of Jesus.
Now, let`s try something. I have been talking about my family and about the concept of family in Hispanic culture. Let`s take a minute and talk about your family. Turn to someone at your table that does not know you and tell at least one person about your family. You only have three minutes.
OK, let`s reflect on what you said. Who did you talk about when you talked about your family? Did you start with your immediate nuclear family? Did you talk about your kids? Did you start with your extended family? Chances are, unless you are Latino, you did not start with your extended family.
Familia in Hispanic Culture
You might be wondering why we would need to learn about the meaning of family in Hispanic culture. Why not Euro-American, Asian, or African contexts for the meaning of family? Well, I know Hispanic culture best but I think we will find some similarity in other third-world cultures. Additionally, an exploration and understanding of Hispanic culture in contrast to Euro-American culture will be beneficial to those of us interested in impacting Hispanic families in our communities, especially in light of demographic trends we have been hearing about. We already know that by 2015, every other Texan will be Hispanic and we have heard lately that Hispanics now comprise the largest minority group in the United States. After all, we are now standing on ground that was once known as Mexico and has become known to us as Tejas. Our context lends itself to an exploration of the meaning of family in Hispanic culture and our future demands that we understand this meaning if we desire to be effective in it for the sake of the Kingdom.
I will be using the term Hispanic to refer to a large and diverse group of people who share a common background and history to include peoples from South, Central, and North America. I may even use the term Latino in the same fashion. Hispanics and Latinos can refer to first, second, third, or fourth generation Hispanics who are bilingual, bicultural and share varying levels of acculturation to mainstream American culture.
In Hispanic culture, familia is the basic unit of identity. Familia is the centerpiece of Hispanic culture. It is the basic group and context for living. Familia can really only be understood in the context of a collective worldview. That is, Hispanics tend to understand and view the world through the lenses of a larger group. Personal identity is defined by the collective grouping. In fact, a Hispanic person really does not have personal identity outside of his or her place in the family or larger group. In order to really understand the identity of a Hispanic person, one must locate their relationship to a given group, such as the Reyes or Garcias, Primera de Corpus, or some other grouping. A collective worldview as opposed to an individualistic worldview expresses itself in a family, a gang, a congregation, a community, or any other venue where a group exists. It is in this group context that the Hispanic individual finds the nearest thing to family.
The family is the most important unit in life, and individuals are likely to place the needs of the family over the their own. The home becomes the first and most important school of human relationships and the family is considered to be the main foci of social identification. Each family member is a walking symbol of his family.[1] The family is where basic values are learned such as loyalty, honesty, and trust; loyalty to one`s family is extremely strong.[2]
The notion or basic definition of family in Hispanic culture is different from other cultures. In Hispanic culture, familia means extended family, grandparents, cousins, uncles, and aunts rather than just the nuclear family as we often think in Euro-American culture. To that definition you may also add the compadres, those chosen usually from the extended family or close friends who become co-parents chosen by the parents at the birth of their child. Compadres are selected on the basis of social status in order to influence someone that would normally be out of reach of the immediate family.[3] A compadre, who may not be related through the bloodline or by marriage, becomes part of the extended family when he or she becomes a compadre. Families within the extended family are held together by common loyalty to each other, to their family name, and to the relationship they enjoy as distinct to the outsider.[4]
I remember meeting the president of a non-profit Christian organization who was a Euro-American brother. We had worked for months to carve out some time where we could visit and talk about a joint venture. We started off the conversation, as you normally would inquire about each other`s families. He asked me, "So Al, tell me about your family." This is what I said, "Well, I have two brothers who are in ministry and my folks are still living and serving in ministry too. My oldest brother is married and has three kids. He is a consultant for ethnic evangelism and my younger brother is married with two kids. He works . . ." My newfound friend interrupted me and said with an impatient look on his face, "What about you, are you married? Any kids?" He wanted me to tell about my family, and I thought I was telling him about my family. I was getting to my wife and kids but I wanted him to have an idea of my extended family in order to make sense of my nuclear family. I could tell early in the conversation that we were in two different worlds. So I quickly answered the questions he asked and then we moved on to business. But I felt like he was not really interested in me because he was not interested in my total family.
I think the principle of connectedness is important to mention at this point. Hispanic people tend to see life as connected versus disconnected. Everything connects in life and cannot be compartmentalized. Compartmentalization is really an Aristotelian concept foreign to Hispanic culture. Life is seen as parts to a whole much like the Hebrew worldview that saw Jehovah related to all of life. To talk about my brother, pastor, or cousin is to talk about my group. To speak of our church or facilities in a negative way is to talk about me. The two are seen as connected. So if you say, "Don`t take this personally, but your brother is a real pain in the neck." You have just insulted my brother, my family, and me.
Basic Structure of Hispanic Family
The basic structure of the traditional Hispanic family is composed of an authoritarian father, a submissive mother, and mutual acceptance of male superiority. Now, keep in mind that I am describing the traditional Hispanic family and am not attempting to prescribe normative or even biblical reference points for the family. The children are expected to obey their parents and to submit to their authority.[5] A clear hierarchy exists in Hispanic families. The father is the source of the mystery, the eldest son replaces the father in his absence, and the women exist to serve the needs of the men and the household. The mother often becomes an institutionalized mediator who is dedicated to softening conflict between members of the family. It is her role to reconcile the children who have attempted rebellion.[6] The foci of authority rest in the hands of the father. When he has made a decision, he expects that decision to be carried out.[7] The role that each parent plays produces a different way the parent is viewed. The father is to be obeyed and the mother is to be adored; yet both are entitled to a great deal of respect.[8] Elders are respected and revered in the Hispanic family. Hispanics place a high value on age. This is evidenced in the way a younger member of the family addresses the parent or grandparents. There are two words for "you" in Spanish, one for the equal (tu) and another for a superior (Usted). Parents demand the latter from their children. Respect, dignity, the use of titles and the formal Usted are commonly employed in the context of a Hispanic family. To fail to understand and know how and when to use these basic courtesies is to demonstrate a lack of education. I am not talking about degrees earned but basic rules of engagement for those in the family.
Even with "Machismo" (the masculine characteristic associated with dominance, strength, virility, and sex), the Hispanic is commonly known as a matriarchal society. The mother or wife appears to be submissive, but we all know who calls the shots. She influences the husband and often leads him behind the scenes. We just look like we are in charge if you know what I mean. While American Hispanics tend to adapt and acculturate to mainstream practices, they do not Americanize family patterns.
Toward Becoming Biblically Authentic Families
I would like now to talk about forming biblically authentic families. When I say "Biblically Authentic," I am referring to the kinds of relationships found in families that reflect the message of Jesus in the Gospels and the implementation of Jesus teachings in the early church. Rodney Clapp, editor for InterVarsity Press, in 1993 wrote a book called Families at the Crossroads: Beyond Traditional and Modern Options. He contends the idea that the family is the first and foremost institution for God on the earth is really not a truly biblical hermeneutic on the family, if indeed we interpret the scriptures through the life and work of Jesus. Whether we are talking about singles, single-parent families, or traditional families, Clapp suggests that the church is the first and foremost institution of God in the earth. It is the church, the family of faith that is at the cutting edge of redemptive history, not the family. Our families are then subject to the teachings of Jesus as represented in the Bible and lived out in the church.
Jesus created a new family, a family of followers. The Apostle Paul tells us in Romans 8:29 that Jesus is the first among many brethren. Clapp contends that allegiance to the Kingdom of God precedes allegiance to the family. Jesus did not destroy the family, he came to affirm it. Jesus once again leads the way as he develops his family of followers and even refers to his family as "whoever does the will of my God is my brother, sister and mother" (Mark 3:34-35).
In the same fashion the Apostle Paul held the family of faith in high regard. The Apostle Paul used the phrase "my brothers" 64 times in his letters and referred to the family of faith as his children.[9] The Apostle Paul referred to the church, "which meets in your house." He referred to a house or household when thinking about how the gospel would impact families in the first century (Acts 16:31). "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved, you and your household (oikos)." A household in the first century could hold up to 50 or 60 people.[10]
Dr. Thomas A. Wolf, futurist, author, missional strategist, and missionary has developed the notion of household or oikos after an extensive study of the Greek term. After consulting sociologists at major universities, Wolf has crafted a universal definition for household/oikos. He says that an oikos is your circle of influence composed of family, neighbors, coworkers, and friends-or your biological world, your geographical world, your vocational world, and your volitional world. You can abbreviate it even more by calling it your Bio, Geo, Voc, and Vol world. In fact, Wolf says that most sociologists agree that whether you are talking about urban or rural, rich or poor, all relationships in life can be categorized into these groupings. In the first century, the household included the nuclear family, extended family, slaves, workers, travelers, and foreigners, a kind of collective view of the household and family, a grouping of people. Rodney Stark, in his book The Rise of Christianity says that this was the secret of the rapid growth of the early church. There were simultaneous conversations about Jesus among open networks of relationships already in place. Dr. Wolf has noted that the average person has about 70 people in his or her oikos. Take the number of people in your church, multiply by 70 and you will get an idea of the existing relationships impacted by your ministry through the oikos. If this was a conference on evangelism, we would spend the rest of the time talking about how this concept plays itself out in your community and what you can do to naturally spread the supernatural message of Jesus through the webs of existing relationships.
Biblically Authentic Families and Transformation
I would like to spend the rest of the time talking about how we experience discipleship through families and how the Hispanic concept of family might flavor our view of biblically authentic families.
I start with the premise that you cannot make a person better without Jesus. After 14 years in the pastorate, I don`t know how to make a better dad, mother, marriage, or child without Jesus` power to transform. Romans 12:2 reads that we should "Not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but transformed by the renewing of our minds." The word pattern is tupos in the original language, meaning a "type of something." He said we should not continue to conform to the "type of" person related to this world. Rather, we are to be transformed (metamorphao). This Greek word is the derivation of our word metamorphosis-we often learn it when we study the caterpillar and its transformation into butterfly.
Transformation is the hallmark of the Jesus` experience. Once we come to know Jesus, our Lord begins to transform everything about us to confirm to the image of God. This is why the Philippian jailer`s conversion in Acts 16 was so dramatic. Some authorities note the saying, "Roman soldiers never die, they simply retire at Phillipi." This jailer was probably a veteran of the Roman Army. He had hacked his way through enough humanity to live to tell about it. He was a worn, experienced, tough, mean, kind of guy. He was a bad dude, the kind you don`t want to meet in an alley at the wrong time of the day. Dr. Luke tells us that the jailer took Paul and Silas to his home so the rest of his family and all those gathered at his home could hear the gospel. His transformation was more earth shattering than the earthquake. The man who was proficient at inflicting wounds was now tending to the wounds of Paul and Silas.
I am envisioning the typical Mexican household, with a courtyard and plaza with a fountain. Then, if that was not enough, his family came to faith in Jesus and they baptized them right there in the fountain or pool. Now, by this time it is probably 1:00 AM. How could his family come to faith in Christ and be baptized so soon? Because they saw the transformation in their father. They might have thought, "Wait, the old man has beaten me lots of times but I have never seen him try to patch up wounds!" And then the jailer served Paul and Silas a banquet. I am thinking fajitas, beans, rice, and tortillas at 2 or 3 AM? Why not? Do you see the transformation? It is unstoppable. Transformation is the unstoppable power of the Gospel. I am reminded of the song we sing in our churches that causes us to remember the difference that Jesus has made in our lives.
"What a wonderful change in my life has been wrought
Since Jesus came into my heart!
I have light in my soul, for which long I had sought,
Since Jesus came into my heart!"
When thinking about making disciples, nonbelievers have two major problems. The first problem is that they do not know a believer. This is a problem of Information that can be solved by Transportation. We just need to get the believer and the non-believer together. The second problem is that they do know a believer. That is a problem of Reputation and can be solved by Transformation. So the first hallmark of a biblically authentic family is transformation.
Dr. Wolf is currently completing his PhD at Andrews University on the topic of "Replicating the Imago Dei of the First Century into the Twenty-First Century." His study expands his lifelong work on what he terms, the Universal Discipleship Pattern. I first heard him explain this concept with a set of questions: "How could the Apostle Paul go into a city for a few days, a few weeks, on the short end, and two to three years on the long end, share the gospel, gather the converted, teach them some basics, and then later write back to the church in that city? Did Paul have a pattern of teaching or a set curriculum he could transfer easily? The answer is that he did have a pattern of teaching. This pattern or tupos of teaching was fairly uniform. It was the ethical teaching of Paul found in Ephesians (the encyclopedic version), and in Colossians (the Cliffs Notes version). You can also find this body of teaching reflected in James and 1 Peter.
The second hallmark of discipling in the family, given the principle of transformation includes mutual submission and respect, love, patience, intentional parenting, training and instruction. We are challenged to reprogram our minds with the pattern of family found in Paul`s teaching.
Let me close by making a few observations concerning how familia might inform the development of disciples in the context of biblically authentic families.
First, the concept of familia teaches us that when we become believers we belong to the collective family of faith. First to the local church we connect to, then the larger Baptist family of churches we relate to in our association and state. It is in this family that Latinos expect to find respect, dignity, identity, and our rightful place. We often say hermana or hermano for sister and brother before a person`s name. It is a spiritual expression, but it is also a loving expression we call carino, which denotes we are part of a family. When I call you brother or sister, what I really mean is that you are in my family. It is not just a nice greeting with the connotation of deference. There are theological implications to that title of respect. The Texas Baptist family is not a collection of strangers but a grouping of family. Our family is Anglo, Hispanic, Asian, African, and a host of other cultural groups. In Christ we are becoming a new family, a new people. I think the meaning of familia could help us redefine what the family really is in our congregations. Listen, people are looking for ways to connect, they are looking for familia in your church. They are not looking for programs or "touchy feely" homilies. They want to know if they will be invited to your table.
Second, Latinos are inclined and perhaps predisposed to defend and protect the unity of the family of faith. I know Latinos are well known for our ability to fight. What I am saying is this . . . once you form a spiritual family, Latinos are usually ready to go down with you. Loyalty, unity, and a common sense of purpose folded into this meaning of familia. If my congregation becomes familia to me, you will not find a more fierce and loyal follower. I think we could use a greater sense of loyalty, unity, and oneness these days as we consider discipleship in the context of the family. Among Latinos, unity is like honey for the soul.
Finally, Latinos are used to a mestizaje, or identity. That is, we are used to pursing our emerging identity sociologically, geo-politically, and economically. We are open to a new identity in Christ. We bring with us our Catholic heritage (now over 500 years old) and the richness of our culture, to the idea of becoming part of the Jesus family. We are ready to critique our culture against the teaching of Jesus and emerge with a new cultural identity that in not Hispanic or American, but more like Jesus. It is at this precise place that we struggle to develop new disciples in the many choices we make daily.
How does familia inform our effort to develop biblically authentic families? By moving toward a collective worldview and emphasizing belonging to people who are disconnected. By valuing loyalty and unity in community. And finally, by advancing the emerging identity we have in Christ.
Endnotes
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[1] William Marsden, The Mexican-American of South Texas (New York: Holt, Rinehart, and Winston, 1964), 44.
[2] John Condon, Good Neighbors: Communicating with the Mexicans (Yarmouth, Maine: Intercultural Press), 24.
[3] Marvin K. Mayers, A Look at Latin American Lifestyles (Huntington Beach, Ca.: Summer Institute of Linguistics, 1876), 57.
[4] Ibid, 56.
[5] Marco A. Espinoza, "Pastoral Care of Hispanic Families in the United States: Socio-Cultural, Psychological, and Religious Considerations," (DMin Project, Andover Newton Theological Seminary, 1982), 126.
[6] David T. Abalos, Latinos in the United States: The Sacred and the Political (Notre Dame: University of Notre Dame Press, 1986), 66.
[7] Mayers, 53.
[8] Madsen, 52.
[9] Rodney Clapp, Families at the Crossroads: Beyond Traditional and Modern Options (Chicago: InterVarsity Press, 1993), 81.
[10] Ibid, 82.
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