Psychiatric Hotline Answering Message

 Psychiatric Hotline Answering Message

Hello, welcome to Psychiatric Hotline,ace
If you are obsessive-compulsive,
    please pres #1.

If you are co-dependent,
    please ask someone to press #2.

 If you have multiple personalities,
    please press #3, #4, #5, #6

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know,
    who YOU are and what you want,
    Just stay on the line so we can trace 
    the call!  

If you are schizophrenic,
    listen carefully  and a little voice 
    will tell you which number to press.

Lastly, If you are manic-depressive,
    it doesn`t matter which number you
    press, no one will answer.

Thank you for calling.
 

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