The Truth About Malarkey by Dee Ann Miller
Book Review
by Karl Harmon, Pastor
First Baptist, Wellington, KS
The Truth About Malarkey
by Dee Ann Miller Book Review by Karl Harmon, Bloomington, IN: 1stbooks.com, 2000.
$12.95 ($3.95 e-book) at www.1stbooks.com
Editor`s Note: Dee Ann Miller is best known through her first book and personal story, How Little We Knew. Widely used as a speaker and advocate for survivors of clergy sexual abuse, her work and ministry is represented at her web site at: www.advocateweb.org/malarkey. She credits Karl Harmon as the man who most inspired this book, "being one of several pastors who suffered major losses trying to get congregations or institutions to face the truth."
The Truth about Malarkey presents a sobering and realistic narrative of a topic in American church life more taboo now than the topic death was in the U.S. in past years, namely clergy sexual abuse and clergy domestic violence. Author Dee Miller`s novel portrays a scenario based on a combination of numerous real life experiences known to her and some of us who lived through such traumatic events.
Dee Miller, psychiatric nurse and much sought after consultant in this hush-hush subject of clergy sexual misconduct and domestic violence in clergy homes, recently received the Elaine V. Shaw Advocacy Award from Associates in Education and Prevention in Pastoral Practice for her work in this area. Located in North Kingston, Rhode Island, AEPPP is an inter-religious, educational and healing ministry which exists to prevent sexual and domestic violence and to promote ethical conduct within communities of faith.
Here`s a book about a clergy whistle-blower! From the outset make no mistake. We clergy whistle-blowers don`t blow our own horns. God forbid!! Memories of such remarkably sad experiences constrict lung capacity to a point even breathing is often uncomfortable. Not to mention writing a book review about such a repugnant matter.
Perhaps few people find themselves in an agonizing whistle-blower situation which requires listening to victims multiple accounts of clergy sexual exploitation. Victims share their stories out of great embarrassment, out of justified anger and grief to a trusted minister, that a member of the clergy violated his or her body. And more importantly violated trust. This harassment represents professional misconduct on the part of a person in ministerial authority.
One woman shared her anger with me because her teen daughter told her years earlier her daughter`s youth pastor fondled her. The daughter seethed for years because her mom refused to report the incidents due to her husband`s failing heart condition. The youth pastor remained an active part of the church after his retirement from youth ministry.
Eventually the youth pastor/perpetrator touched this woman inappropriately on numerous occasions. At the time I heard her story police were already conducting an investigation on him because of a report about his abusive activities on a mentally challenged single woman member of our church. After I heard the mom`s story I understood better why families with young girls were leaving the church.
No one wanted to deal with unwelcomed advances to their wives and daughters by this retired clergyman. No one wanted to talk about a well respected former youth pastor and one time pastor of a church in the community who touched young girls and women inappropriately. They all kept silent. He had a wonderful smile! Departing church members spoke bitterly about the retired minister but made no allegations. I was pretty confused by their seeking other churches. Now it all made more sense to me. Consequently police charges were filed against the minister with my consent and encouragement. It was heartbreaking! But somehow integrity must rule when eyewitness allegations are made, regardless of personal or professional cost to me and another staff member.
Based on the information received, one must decide upon responsible action. No other course of action will bring healing and restoration to victims, congregations and denominations. No other course of action will be in keeping with our Lord`s commands to protect the weak and set at liberty the captives.
Dee Miller stands as personal witness to the deliberate collusion and disseminated confusion perpetrated at all levels of church life in order to conceal sexual misdeeds of clergypersons. Additionally, very sad legal and ecclesiastical documents provide even more background evidence to support her eye opening saga.
The Truth about Malarkey is not mere fantasy. Her novel must be taken seriously. Quite often truth must be told straight forward with no room for confusion or misinterpretation in order to avoid a greater damage of living by lies. Miller chose to use story form to communicate the intricate webs formed to cover up and to expose clergy sexual abuse today. Moreover, a subplot presents clues to a subsequent startling revelation regarding clergy spousal abuse, giving Miller`s work a cutting edge place which denominational leaders especially need to read.
The Truth about Malarkey may be difficult to receive, upsetting, and tough to swallow. However, if we hope to be people of integrity we must enable ourselves to see the dynamics of sexual misconduct and domestic violence.
Perhaps the greatest value in Miller`s novel is that it allows us to walk in the shoes of victims of clergy sexual misconduct. Regardless of whether the victims were either direct victims violated by a perpetrator or secondary victims whose own uncompromising principles insist on high moral action and standards among clergy persons, her clear writing style allows us to walk miles in their shoes. Now is the time for such an illumination into the human emotions, thoughts, and behavior of church members, sexually abused victims, secondary victims, church staff clergy, and denominational clergy.
The Truth about Malarkey carries us on a faith journey, from the moment of discovery by a young minister of sexual misconduct by his church`s former minister, to subsequent events: the denial of church members, the collaboration to keep secret the former minister`s sexual exploitation, a church split, and finally, the healing of the sexually violated woman. Her healing offers hope to all the perpetrator`s other victims.
Church leaders and denominational officials ignore, discount, cover up, or shift responsibility on the issue of clergy sexual abuse, to the peril of their own integrity. As advocates of the well being of congregants and of the importance of justice established on loving righteousness, we must be people of truth.
In his book Healthy Congregations a Systems Approach, Peter Steinke identifies clergy sexual abuse under the category, "People of the Lie." Steinke asserts that the manifestation of evil he encounters most frequently in the church is that sly, kind, and subtle manipulation of people, a winsome seductiveness and shrewd innocence. He charges that this cunning side of evil is even assisted, enabled, and welcomed in the church. The environment of the congregation itself encourages and cooperates.
Following these assertions, Steinke proceeds to illustrate the deceitfulness of evil by his conversation with the wife of a pastor who sexually seduced a half-dozen women in his church. Steinke quotes the wife`s description of her husband: "He was a master, a fantastic deceiver."
The wife concluded their conversation with several pointed questions: Why are people so eager to be mystified? Why does it seem easier to get fooled, sucked in, and enchanted in the church more than elsewhere? Why is there such gullibility? Why are people who are fraudulent and self-serving mistaken for being spiritual and committed?
Steinke`s answer is that we seem utterly prone to be deceived by wolves in sheep`s clothing. For those Christians who seek integrity in the church the question naturally arises, what are we to do?
Richard Neuhaus warns against the danger of giving evil dynamics a kind of legitimacy in the life of the church and denomination. He writes: "Some evils are not to be worked out and some conflicts are not to be managed-they are simply not to be admitted into the community life at all." There should be a restraint of evil forces. No stronger statement can be made to contemporary church leaders toward dealing with clergy sexual abusers.
Steinke continues in the same vein by reiterating Scott Peck`s view that "evil people tend to gravitate toward piety" and "one of the places evil people are most likely to be found is within the church."
Congregations, pastors, denominational leaders are far too willing to accommodate, wink at, and shift blame from "people of the lie" to vulnerable, hurting, and unsuspecting victims of clergy sexual abuse. Or, religious leaders add insult to the victims` wound by purchasing their silence through monetary means. Steinke concludes this section by saying we must balance being innocent as doves with being wise as serpents.
As a conclusion, I introduce you to the narrator of Truth about Malarkey, adorable Grandma Cora. She is a very likeable person with a delightful Texas accent who expresses her feelings about events and persons in her church in "down home" language. At the same time she shows appropriate outrage, while raising challenging theological questions. Grandma Cora "possesses some important values . . . strong faith in God and the goodness of people, connection and community, right moral action, courage, common sense, a sense of humor, safety, and appreciation for history as a gift to others." All these traits mix together in her words and actions as a role model for our responses to sexual misconduct by ministers. We need to take Grandma Cora very seriously.
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