Waging Peace at Home
Waging Peace at Home
John Singletary, Center for Family and Community Ministries, Baylor University
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God” (Mt 5:9).
I’ve wanted to engage in a conversation about parenting and peacemaking with “my people” for years. I first learned about parenting and peacemaking from my own parents. While they never talked about it this way, nonviolence was central to how my father taught me to be a man. I first learned how to describe a Christian view of parenting based on the values of peacemaking in an explicit way while spending three years as a Mennonite pastor. Another lesson I learned from the Mennonites was to value my own heritage. So, I write this with the people of my heritage in mind: Southern Baptists.
I have always lived in the South and always considered myself a Baptist. I made a profession of faith and was baptized in the First Baptist Church of Maplewood, in Sulphur, LA, I made public a commitment to full-time ministry in the First Baptist Church of Lake Charles, LA; I was first involved in ministry leadership at First Baptist Church, Huntsville, TX; and I was ordained as a deacon at Calvary Baptist Church in Waco, TX. During these years, I heard my father repeatedly use Proverbs 22 as a guide; he was raising me up in the way that I should go, hoping that when I became older I would not depart from it. And, more than anything in my life, I am thankful for this and for the fact that my father did not raise me to be a violent person.
The way that he taught me to go was in the way of Jesus of Nazareth; the way of grace, service, and care. It was the way of that cloud of witnesses who came before Jesus; their ways of peace, justice and righteousness. It was the way of those running the race after Jesus; the ways of faith, hope, and love. From ancient Jewish foreparents to early Christian disciples, and from my parents and my family of faith, I was always blessed with a community of support and encouragement shaping me to be the person God was calling me to be.
Now, in my own family, I join my wife as we seek to raise our children in the way that each of them should go. I hope the lessons I share at school, at church, and more importantly in my family, are lessons similar to those I was taught. And, I hope that, in the ways my parents built upon their childhood experiences as they parented, I am able to do take what my parents, extended family, family of faith, and other friends offer us so that we can point our children in the ways that they are to go.
Russell Moore, dean at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, recently described his attempt to raise his sons in the way he feels they should go. He was Moore to the point than he usually is, as he tried to make a point about the struggles of life and the lessons of Scripture. In fact, he seems to be Moore off the mark than usual if the central tenet of his “overall philosophy of childrearing” is “aiming to raise up violent sons.”1
While he captures the fervor of that version of popular Christianity that thrives on eschatological fear of spiritual and material warfare, I hope to parent based on a different perspective: a theology of hope grounded in the grace of God, empowered by the Holy Spirit, and guided by the life and teachings of Jesus. For me, this theology of parenting includes a central notion that is also biblical, yet in sharp contrast to that of Moore; it is the concept of shalom. Shalom is the Hebrew word for health and wellbeing, it is a warm greeting used among family and friends, and it is the basis of the notion of peace, holistic peace. For Jews and Christians alike, the concept often incorporates the work of seekingpeace, pursuing justice, healing the earth, and building community. One expression of shalom that is relevant to Christians today, and perhaps to the rest of the world, is found in the writings of Walter Wink.2 Wink takes his discussion of spiritual power in a radically different direction than that of Moore, and as a result, the implications of his writings for discipleship as well as parenting provide a helpful and healthy alternative.
Wink describes Christian practices of nonviolence that stand as a third way opposed to either passivity or violent opposition. He teaches that nonviolent direct action as taught by Jesus differs from the popular Christian and many mainstream American powers that sustain death–dealing domination across the globe. From Jesus’ teaching to love our enemies to his life that results in the way of the cross, this perspective provides an invaluable alternative to the point Moore and more and more Christians are trying to make today.
While some Baptists may be content with a view of parenting that seeks to raise up violent sons and a view of marriage that promotes “manly dominion,”3 we can take a different approach to our families. The violence Moore exalts and the passivity President Mohler of Southern Seminary decries are not the only options. Jim and Kathy McGinnis at the Parenting for Peace and Justice Network provide invaluable resources for faith and peace-based parenting, while Anne Meyer Byler’s work in conjunction with the Peace and Justice Support Network for Mennonite Church USA. And, for my people, The Baptist Peace Fellowship of North America provides a host of resources including an annual “peace camp” for families and a family covenant of nonviolence.
A Christian view of nonviolence taught by Jesus, modeled by my dad, and hopefully at work in my family takes parenting seriously, consciously addresses personal and social ills, and remains faithful to the biblical mandate to “seek peace and pursue it.” Thanks to my father, I am confident the way of peace is the way I am to go; and I hope my sons will learn it as the way for them as well.
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