A Pious Proposal: The F Word vs. the J Word
A Pious Proposal: The F Word vs. the J Word
By William Griffin, Biographer, Novelist, Playwright, Translator,
Alexandria, LA
I`ve never read a word I didn`t like. Educated beyond my competence, I`ve amassed a huge vocabulary. I`ve taught myself to pronounce each and every word, including "pejorative" (there are at least three approved ways).
I can enunciate each and every letter in succession to form the word "pejorative" as a whole; listening to recordings of British actors like Gielgud, Richardson, and Olivier decades ago taught me how, and in the process I eradicated my Bostonian accent.
I`ve done my best to pass on my love of words to my three children. When they were young and impressionable, without my wife`s knowledge or consent, I called them together for a family conference. No, it wasn`t going to be on the birds and the bees, about which I knew comparatively little; it was on something far more important, I thought; the F word.
I wanted the F word and other similar words to be part of their active vocabulary, even if they never had an inclination to use them. Nor did I want them to be intimidated when they heard these words, classified by non-lexicographers as "dirty" words, sprung on them by their peers. Reason? There`s no such thing as a bad word; admittedly, some words acquire bad meanings, but that`s another issue entirely.
I knew also, from spending my professional life dealing with words of all sorts (many of them in book form as an acquiring editor at Macmillan and Harcourt), that words are merry messengers, Marx Brothers, Katzenjammer Kids, Sacha Baron Cohens, sometimes bouncing and behaving, sometimes rascally and misbehaving, always up to no good. Among them, the F word.
And of course I knew from John the Evangelist that in the beginning was the Word and the Word was God, and that the Word of words has come down to us in spoken and written form in a cascade of words. How odd of God, but that`s another issue entirely.
History of the F Word
The F word is found in the works of James Joyce and D. H. Lawrence among others, but it hasn`t been found in the OED, SOD, EDD, and MWCD until recent years.
It must be said that the eccentric British lexicographer, Eric Partridge, happily remembered for A Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional Language (1937), A Dictionary of the Underworld, British and American (1949), and Origins: A Short Etymological Dictionary of Modern English (1958), splendid volumes all, has always included the F word.
Locus classicus of the F word as spoken may be found in the works of comedian George Carlin. A frequent guest on television shows in the 1960s and 1970s, he compiled a list of the "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television"; the F word was among them. Carlin later expanded the list to 200 such words.
Eventually, the FCC got involved; the U.S. Supreme Court was consulted; and the seven unspeakables are now included in the annals of the Supreme Court (FCC v. Pacifica Foundation, 1974).
Since that time the FCC has kept the F word off prime-time network television with some success. And yet, today, through the magic of the zoom lens we see, even if we don`t hear, the F word being shouted with utter abandon by the finer coaches of our better collegiate and professional teams.
As for hearing the F word, we continually see it bleeped from television shows and movies. How do we know? One doesn`t have to be Miss Marple or Marlee Matlin to read actors` lips.
Slips in the spoken language continue. A couple of years ago at an awards ceremony Bono of U2 was caught by an open mike saying the F word in its adverbial form ("f-ing marvelous"). At the beginning of 2006, Howard Stern, the foul-mouth Frank of radio and television, swore off the F word on the ground that it was no longer funny. And so the parade continues.
All this having been said, I must affirm and support people who form groups to bar the F word or its sisters and brothers from current use on public media, even though I may not agree with them. And I admire their persistence in pursuing the FCC.
Ironically, allowing the free use of the F word is the only sure way to insure its demise. It has been so repetitively and thoughtlessly used that it numbs the very ears who are offended.
Now to my pious proposal. It has to do with shifting massive Christian energy from one goal-a very good goal, it must be said-to another, worthier goal.
PROPOSAL: The FCC should allow the full and audible use of the F word; in return, the FCC should banish the blasphemous use of the J word, Jesus.
J Word
As background, some years ago Alan King conducted a series of interviews meant to be an oral history of comedians, especially stand-ups. In conversation with Jerry Steinfeld, King, a rather splendid comedian himself, said to his guest, "Unlike other comics today, you work clean." By that he meant that Seinfeld didn`t use the F word or its correlatives in his routines. But later in the same interview both used the J word in a casual, expletival sort of way.
Historically, the Jews have suffered at the hands of Christians, especially the Roman Catholics, of which I am one; much of that misery was inflicted in the name of Jesus. It`s no wonder that some Jews speak of our Lord and Savior in a less than generous way. I can only follow the example of John Paul II, and apologize to my Jewish friends for these historical sins, not caused by me particularly but by my denomination in particular.
Lest I give the wrong impression, such Jewish infractions are infinitesimal when compared to those of the Gentiles and to those found on cable television networks, which are unencumbered by any censorship.
As for the traditional television networks, their censors, at the massive insistence of the censorious among their audience, bleep the F word. Oddly, they`re no longer bleeping the J word as expletive, and the Christian audience isn`t uttering a peep of protest. Isn`t it time to reverse the process, to remedy the greater wrong?
As a lifelong member of the publishing community I`m a libertarian when it comes to the use of words. Hence, I wouldn`t restrict the use of the J word in whatever context, holy or unholy. Ironically, though, allowing the free use of the name is the only sure way to insure its survival.
Problem
But a personal problem arises. My whole spiritual life is based on the word Jesus. In the Old Testament there`s the second commandment. In the New Testament there`s Philippians 10:2: "at the name of Jesus every knee should bow."
I spent eight happy years as a Jesuit (member of the Society of Jesus). The religious order did nothing to exaggerate devotion to the holy name, but the name of Jesus was always surrounded with great warmth.
In the litany of the holy name, which dates to the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries, Jesus is invoked as, among other things, father of the poor, treasure of the faithful, good shepherd, true light, eternal wisdom, infinite goodness, our way and our life.
There`s the Jesus prayer, a repetitive prayer dating back to the fifth or sixth century. It would seem to have its source in the gospel of John. Paraphrasally rendered from the Greek, "Up to this point, my dear friends, you haven`t used my name when you asked for something. Use it; it works; it really works" (16:3).
The Jesus prayer has many forms.
Jesus, have mercy on me a sinner….
Jesus, make haste to help me….
Jesus, have mercy on me….
When all is said and done, "the name of Jesus is at the heart of Christian prayer" (Catholic Catechism, 1997).
One could do worse than spend the rest of his her life exploring the wonders of this holy name.
In conclusion, my pious proposal would seem to be a reasonable and honorable trade-off, restoring the F word to die of overuse and restraining the J word used as expletive so that it may live.
Afterthought
Every blasphemy bothers me, unsettles me to the point of wanting to deck the blasphemer. To maintain some sort of spiritual balance, I`ve had to come up with a mischievous if mystical thought. Suppose that, when the J word is tossed around with reckless abandon during the course of a come-dressed-as-you-are, bunkhouse brawl, Jesus isn`t offended. Not only that, suppose he comes, as he comes to all those who utter his name in moments of need or praise. Is that so far-fetched? If the New Testament is any indication, Jesus has done some of his best work with unpromising people in questionable surroundings. A pious thought!
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